It is an important question to ask, as we embark on a podcast that centers around this very thought. I want to outline why I use the phrase and what it means to me.

Desiring God tries to answer that question in their February 15th article, What Does ‘Deconstruction’ Even Mean?1:

Deconstruction is a critical dismantling of a person’s understanding of what it means to be an evangelical Christian, and in some cases a refusal to recognize as authorities those perceived as occupying privileged evangelical institutional positions who “supposedly speak for God.”

It is a good article. It gives some background on the philosophical history of the term “deconstruction” and why it was quickly adopted and focused on religions.

In my view, spiritual deconstruction is made up of multiple parts. There is a mental component. There is a spiritual component. There’s even a physical component. There’s also an abstract component, one that is more philosophical. It’s not just about being smart, but it’s about how you think about certain things. That might be splitting hairs but for someone like me, thinking about the differences between “smartly believing in something” or “believing in something smartly” is pretty big. For someone like my wife feeling those differences has more weight than knowing the differences though she’s good at both. The philosophical, the mental, the feeling, the intuitive, and the abstract—those exist in the periphery to the lion’s share of what we experience as it relates to both spiritual experiences and religion.

It’s the difference between “having a feeling in your gut” and “knowing the thing in your mind” and their relationship with what was written about before, from a traditional standpoint or, shall I say, an orthodox perspective, in addition to reconciling any of those differences from the cultural or socio-economic reality that we all live in. There is a biological function too!—religion has priests that can affect a population.2 So all of these things are in play when we begin to take Jacques Derrida’s point of view about deconstruction.

What do I mean by “spiritual deconstruction?” It’s not like I am at a place where I want to say fuck religion—it has no value—although, I am nearly there. But that’s not exactly where I’m at. I’m not at the “God doesn’t exist” place, though I did flirt with that for a bit. I’m also not at the place where I can say for a fact what God is like and how God interacts with the world and with me. That’s unknown as well.

Spiritual deconstruction for me is about losing the answers that I had that were anchored in systematic theology…

and asking anew about every truth I encounter from now on, probing them for a deeper meaning and understanding. I believe there is a more nuanced perspective than “Do you believe?” or “Do you not believe?” or “The jury is still out.” The three classic choices between being a theist, an atheist, or an agnostic don’t seem to cut it in this post-postmodern age. I’m coming to a place where I’m trying to lose the answers that I’ve had, and instead of seeking answers,

I am seeking questions.

Spiritual deconstruction, for me, is more about understanding that I am in that process of trying to live in a way that is graceful and kind to one another and myself and ultimately understanding that my perspective is limited.

A classic thought exercise regarding Christianity is Pascal’s Wager. Simply put, if God is true, then it’s good to follow the Bible3. If God is not true, it’s still good to follow the Bible because you will have been a good person along the way and if you die and it’s not true, then no one is none the wiser. However, I think the premise is a bit shallow these days. Today’s zealous believers impact not only their lives but those of others because of those physical components I mentioned earlier—manifesting in conservative or liberal laws for example. Battle lines are being drawn. People are dying.4 It’s not just a simple wager.

I’m starting this podcast to have conversations about these topics and to share my experiences with others. It’s a time of self-reflection for me and my wife, and my relationship with her and our family. The format is informal. I don’t have the correct answers; I’m not even looking to assert the correct answers. I’m looking for a community with which I can share some of these thoughts and ideas.

I’m hoping some will take the time to listen, read, contribute, and ultimately, connect. We are not alone.

What does spiritual deconstruction mean to you?

  1. What Does ‘Deconstruction’ Even Mean? ↩

  2. Religion, fertility and genes: a dual inheritance model ↩

  3. Boy, that is a loaded statement; one I am sure we will discuss at a later time. ↩

  4. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/ ↩